Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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