The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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