Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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