Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
