Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
