I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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