i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
