I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
