There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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