u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
