No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
