I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
