On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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