There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
