I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
