I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
