So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
