There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
