Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
