no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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