which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
