I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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