hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
