he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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