Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
