Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
