So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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