she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wrigley field is MILF paradise
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
