New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
