It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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