she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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