From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize