dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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