Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
