Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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