I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
