my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm at about main and main street
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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