Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
