Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
