i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
