Duck Duck Cougar?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
