have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
