My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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