He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
