Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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