I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
