Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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