I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
