Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
