My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
