So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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