Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
