What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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