I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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