She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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